....I think was actually a bigger challenge and shock than having 1. You obviously kind of know what you are doing this time around (except for all the things that your brain has forced you to forget) but it’s having a little toddler running around while trying to remember how to change a newborn’s nappy that becomes a handful. Lie in’s are officially a thing of the past, as is being ill, there’s just no time for either. As are the days of tag-teaming the one child over the weekend to help you both get a bit of rest.
As with the last time, there are glimmer’s of good times that are just enough to keep you going and I guess I didn’t think too much about the sibling relationship that will develop but that is something really sweet to see, even at this early stage. I wasn’t sure how it would affect my relationship with Finn and the idea of having to split my time and attention between the two of them but it’s actually been great. After the initial shock to the system, I think he’s grown to like being the older brother and actually feels happier at times that the focus is not always on him.
There’s been a number of low points when it’s been super busy at work, having to run home to help out with bedtime. Finn playing up when he doesn’t want to have a bath, get into his PJs, read any books or get into bed. Followed by 2 hours of trying to get Violet to sleep, thinking you’ve done it before stepping on a noisy floorboard as you leave the room and her eyes are suddenly wide awake again. As you would expect, there’s been a few things being thrown in anger, including an impressive throw by Emma that managed to break the TV remote into millions of pieces.
If I had any tips, it’s to have a good bottle of wine to hand and a fully stocked drinks cabinet. It’s probably one of the most stressful times so don’t be afraid to have a little drink to help ease the pain. Even if it is a Monday. Don’t watch boxsets with subtitles (Making a Murderer is still unfinished..), the brain can’t handle it. And if you are a planner, maybe have the second one in spring / summer time as we had Violet at the end of January when Finn was coming home from nursery every week with a new cold. You’re not only trying to avoid him passing anything on but he also reverts back to being a baby himself when he’s ill so all of a sudden you’ve got your hands extra full at 4 o’clock in the morning.
Overall, I know it will be worth it and that a lot of people say this is probably the hardest moment of being a parent but I can honestly say that I’ve found it super tough. Especially around weeks 4-5. I just remember walking around the kitchen, trying to get Violet to sleep for the 5th time that night, mouthing to Emma ‘there’s no f@%ing way we’re having 3, I never want to do this ever again!”. Watch this space...
(for part 1 click here)